Dancing backwards in high heels

Kenny Chesney has a song called, "The Woman with You". I swear that song is my life ballad. I can so relate to this woman in the song. She is obviously a career woman, she is "gopherin', chaufferin', copy repairman." She has been "juggling, struggling, closing big deals. Dancing backwards in high heels. Just when it feels like I can't make it through. She says it sure feels nice to just be the woman with you. "

I have felt that relief so many times after walking in the house after a long day and seeing my husband. It seems like in my job, I am always needed by somebody. An employee, a customer, a bank, a factory rep....the list goes on and on. So many people depend on me during the day. I love that responsibility and multi-tasking is almost like fuel for me to keep going. But sometimes, I can't wait to just come home and be his wife.

I have been married twice. My first marriage didn't work out for many reasons but I always feel like one of the main things I learned from that was how important it is to honor your roles as husband and wife. Thanks to several years of counseling and many late night chats with the Lord, I have finally learned to love and embrace a more submissive role in our marriage, and I find that I yearn for it now. It just feels so good to be a damsel sometimes!! You don't have to worry about every little thing and I have found when I trust him to be the leader...he blows me away! He is amazing at it, in fact better than I am!! There are just things that God has prepared him for and built him to do. And as I have let go and trusted him, I have found that he is so sweet to me and treats me how I have always longed to be treated; like a woman!! Its almost magical sometimes how it works. Its like what God had intended from the beginning with husbands and wives, works!! Haha it seems silly now, but its a hard equation to work out sometimes.

There is nothing I love more than to turn the world off, and be by his side letting him take care of me. It feels so good to not worry about the broken toilet or who to call when the AC isn't working. But its more than that. I love going to a dinner party or a social function and just being there as his wife. I love to listen to him talk about business and admire how others respect him. I love to see how generous and genuine he is with others, and how others just naturally gravitate towards him. I love to see his employees look up to him, and how he pushes them to be better. It makes me love him so much more when I take the time to respect him.

I need to point out that I am very strong minded. I feel like this strength is what has helped me to navigate this journey of being a "driven mom". I know that God made me like this, and I have no intention of trying to change that, and nor does my husband. In fact I think he likes that about me (most of the time). I have just learned that it takes more strength to control those emotions and those words that want to fly out of my mouth, and I value that self control. It is almost a muscle that I have had to train and grow over the years. But I realize now that people respect me more for controlling my emotions, and I don't have to be pushy or sassy to get things accomplished. I stand up for myself and I will absolutely tell my husband what I think when its needed. But most of the time, I do it with respect for him as the leader. I feel like we respect each other.

I think one of the best parts about learning to be a better wife, is that it has also taught me to be a better mom. I have learned that I need to let my boys take care of me too. They love to be the experts and be the handlers of man stuff. And as I let them do those things, and I back off...they rise up. I have seen them blossom into strong and brave men! I know they will be better husbands and fathers someday because they are learning & seeing how to be the leader of the home. And they have so much more confidence and respect for themselves when they realize their roles. They intentionally learn new skills because they know it will be their job someday in their home. One of my boys had a friend run out of gas the other day. My son wanted to go help him, and I watched him work through the whole thing in his mind. He hesitated a little bit, but he never asked me for help. He did it on his own, and he did great! It was just so cool to see him believe in himself, and handle it! I don't even know where the gas cans are, and he knew I didn't know. He just had that instinct to know in our house its a man job and he handled it! I just love to see them fulfilling what the Lord has for them.

Also, my daughter is learning from me how to be more submissive. She is so strong, brave and confident. She is not afraid to speak her mind!! I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. But I understand how she feels, and so I have been able to show her and teach her how to be softer and kinder. I have modeled to her how to trust your husband and let him lead your home. Its not that I don't speak my mind....because I most definitely do, and so does she. But I hope I am showing her that being a strong woman means always staying classy and showing grace. There are far more effective ways to get your point across then being disrespectful to others, especially your husband.

I think as a career woman, especially in a predominantly male industry, you tend to get jaded a little bit. I mean you have to be the boss of both boys and girls!! It sort of defies what God teaches us about roles in marriage to be the boss of boys in the workplace. But I think as a woman, we can not be afraid to take charge of our business. We have to be strong, decisive and able to handle the entire job. But, at home, we deserve the luxury of letting go. That's where the balance comes into play. You have to be intentional about being submissive with your husband, especially when you are not used to that role. But, as for me....it has worked beautifully. I have never been happier and more fulfilled in my life.

My one in 7 billion.